So my wife (she indicated she wanted to remain nameless due to the definite paparazzi threat from this blog) and I got into a lively debate the other day over item number four on the following list. She came home and made the ridiculous claim that a bagel and cream cheese at a local bagel shop was over 1,000 calories. "Whoa" I said - slow your roll down a minute. I gobbled down hundreds of those over my adolescent years, and you're telling me that they have more calories than a Big Mac? In the end, a final conclusion was never reached. But I will concede that there are a lot of things out there that I once thought were healthy and probably aren't.
1.) FRUIT DRINKS - all your Tang's, Juicy Juice's, and Hawaiian Punches fit into this category. Apparently they're nothing but sugar, food coloring, fructose syrup, and more sugar. Maybe a little water mixed in to make it slide down easier. Designed to get little kids high before they can discover real drugs in high school (or middle school, depending on your school district). You're telling me that 3% real fruit juice isn't good enough?
2.) REAL FRUIT JUICE - even 100% fruit juice is apparently bad for you. Whatever. People have been drinking glasses of OJ every morning since the dawn of mankind. And I've never seen an obese neanderthal.
3.) MILK - continuing our theme or breakfast drinks, this one is apparently full of fat and is only designed by mother nature to help little infants of all species "pork up". The one notable exception is skim milk (which is about as far away from mother nature as you can get, people.) Water with white food coloring. And who's ever heard of white food coloring?
4.) BAGELS- see prologue
5.) SALADS - ever looked at the nutrition info in some of these salads at restaurants? Crazy talk. You think you're eating healthy because it is, after all, a salad. Turns out the only salad that is still a salad is a piece of lettuce and some fat-free sludge on the side. Yeah - anyone tried to dip lettuce into sludge and then eat it? Doesn't go over so well. And forget about croutons. Empty calories, folks. For more commentary on this subject, see this link
6.) BACON - apparently no one really ever thought this was healthy. But my grandma who lived into her 90's downed this stuff daily. In fact, I saw this on a shirt the other day:
